CONSCIOUS DATING - Blog 61
Yes! And more please !!
I was in a funky mood yesterday.
I felt alienated from and judgemental of Glastonbury.
My heart was aching at this and the residual grief of a letting go.
And then I went to a party and bumped into a man I've not seen for years, but with whom there had been a true connection.
I don't mean a romantic or sexual connection.
No, I simply mean a connection in truth.
A mutually authentic seeing and being.
That happened primarily without words, because we first encountered one another on the dance floor at Buddhafield.
In that non-verbal moving space that is my favourite medium for connection and communication.
Because so much can be said in the subtle and somatic that subverts the need for words. Going straight to the core of reality.
And it's in this realm of aware embodied intimacy that I feel most me, most alive!
We talked a little. And that was fine.
But what lit me up was the dances we shared. Presence, energy flow, attunement. Heart and soul talk, sensuality, play.
Eros in motion.
Aaaaah... finally... a man who meets me in this!! A man who knows how to embrace and elicit the more of my feminine.
I realised how long it's been and how I've missed this. Especially in Glastonbury, where dancers are surprisingly closed off.
Because however much I meet myself in all the ways I do, for me nothing beats this masculine-feminine polarity dance.
It's a love-making, just as expansive and uplifting as sex itself and it doesn't mean anything other than life meeting itself.
Mmmm..
Those dances, along with other elements and interactions last night shifted my funky mood.
The evening ended with me lying sweaty, relaxed and content in a cuddle puddle with some of my closest companions in this town. Having stomped, sung and toned, played the fool, Priestess & seductress. Mmmm.
I'm so grateful for this reminder of what matters to me.
That it does exist. And how much it nourishes me.
When I write about my dating journey, I often feel that people don't get what I mean when I express how I wish to be met.
Or that they think what I describe simply isn't possible.
It's so rare for me to experience it these days that I sometimes start believing their doubts.
But then moments like last night happen and I'm reminded: aah yes. This.
This depth of awareness and presence in a man.
This level of subtlety.
This level of energy play and mastery.
Because without it the exquisite depths and nuances I'm capable of cannot be shared or tasted.
It takes a man who has done the work to initiate himself into such assured awake aliveness to elicit my riches.
There's no romantic story to be made of this. If you're going there in your thinking you've misunderstood.
It's not about me & him getting it on or "being right" for one another. No personal desire or attraction is even involved.
This was simply a gift from the universe to remind me of who I am and what's possible. And the qualities I wish for in a partner.
So yes, thank you and more please Universe! And gratitude to this man and to life for drawing me out of my funk.
I woke up this morning to a notification from PayPal that I had received a generous donation - from a male follower of my blog!!
I guess it was in response to my last piece in which I requested contributions in support of my writing.
WOWEE !!
And so yes, thank you and more of that too please ! LOL !
Amazing.
What a dance this journey is. And how beautiful that the masculine has shown up for me like this
Oh yes, YES ! Thank you and more please !
tbc...